I'm not sure I believe all of these things, and I haven't really been here long enough to judge, but funny nevertheless! From some witty expats:
YOU KNOW YOU'VE BEEN IN DENMARK TOO LONG, WHEN:
You always prepare to catch the closing door if following too closely
You think there is no such thing as bad weather, only bad clothing.
The first thing you do on entering a bank/post office/pharmacy etc. is
to look for the queue number machine.
You accept that you will have to queue to take a queue number.
Inside your front door is beginning to resemble a shoe shop.
When a stranger on the street smiles at you, you assume that:
a. he is drunk;
b. he is insane;
c. he is American;
d. he is all of the above.
Silence is fun.
It no longer seems excessive to spend 800 kr. on alcohol in a single
You know that "religious holiday" means "let's get pissed".
You use "Mmmm" as conversation filler.
The word "yes" is an intake of breath.
You have only two facial expressions, smiling or blank.
You buy your own drink at the bar even when you are with a group of
Traditional dinners may not necessarily mean a cooked meal.
You forget how to open canned beer.
Can't remember when to say "please" and "excuse me".
You will leave a pub if you can't find a seat.
Your wardrobe no longer has suits but blue shirts and mustard colored
sports jackets and lots of denim.
You don't mind paying the same for a 200-metre bus ride as you do for
going 10 kms.
You know the rules to handball.
You don't look twice at businessmen in dark suits wearing white sport
You start to believe that if it weren't for Denmark's efforts, the world
would probably collapse pretty soon.
You find yourself speaking half Swedish with Swedes.
You find yourself more interested in the alcohol content than the name
of the wine.
It feels natural to wear sport clothes and a backpack everywhere.
You know the meaning of life has something to do with the word
You are very surprised when you receive compliments about ANYTHING -
including your appearance/clothing! In fact when you do, you find it
suspicious and start thinking they might have ulterior motives. (how
You've completely forgotten what a "date" is - no one ever comes to
pick you up and unexpected gifts are VERY unexpected.
You don't think it strange that no one ever comes by to visit without
being invited and you never show up at anyone's place unannounced
You wouldn't dream of coming even 10 minutes early to a party. (Once
around the block is always an alternative)
You find yourself lighting candles when you have guests - even if it is
brightly sunny outside and 20 degrees.
You offer people strange-tasting brown alcoholic liquids with their
coffee in the MORNING!